Perhaps you’ve spent much of your life feeling different without quite understanding why. You may have found certain aspects of everyday life more exhausting than they seem to be for other people, struggled to meet expectations that appear to come naturally to others, or felt that you’re constantly trying to work out how to navigate a world that wasn’t designed with you in mind.
You might be exploring whether you are autistic, ADHD, dyslexic, dyscalculia, dyspraxic, or experience other forms of neurodivergence. Perhaps you’ve received a diagnosis later in life and are trying to make sense of what this means for you. Or maybe you’ve questioned whether you might be neurodivergent for some time, but aren’t sure where to begin.
I have lived experience of AuDHD and dyslexia, which gives me a personal understanding of some of the complexities that can arise when navigating a world shaped around neurotypical expectations. I understand that feeling different isn’t always easy to put into words, and that the effort involved in adapting, masking or trying to keep up with everyday demands can sometimes be difficult for others to see.
I don’t diagnose or define who you are. Instead, I offer a space to better understand yourself and explore your needs. Some people come to explore their ND identity; others seek support with grief, work-related stress, anxiety or other life challenges. Whatever brings you, I’m experienced in working with people who process and experience the world through a neurodivergent lens. I recognise that a diagnosis may be an important part of your identity, but it doesn’t need to be the focus of our work together.
What is Neurodivergent-Affirming Counselling
A neurodivergent-affirming approach recognises that differences in how people think, process information, communicate and experience the world are not automatically problems that need to be fixed.
This doesn’t mean overlooking difficulties or pretending that living in a neurotypical society is always easy. It means taking your experiences seriously, recognising the impact of your environment and exploring what support, adjustments or changes might help.
I aim to make our sessions as comfortable and accessible as possible, recognising that everyone processes information, communicates and regulates themselves differently. You’re welcome to fidget, knit, doodle or colour while we talk, and there’s no expectation to make eye contact. I’m mindful of lighting, strong scents and other sensory factors, and I’m comfortable allowing longer silences when you need time to process or find the words. If helpful, we can also build more structure into our sessions, such as agreeing on a focus, taking breaks, or adapting the pace to suit your needs.
I recognise that speaking isn’t always possible or accessible for everyone, and that some people experience situational mutism or find themselves unable. We can adapt our sessions to suit your needs, whether that means communicating through texting, typing, writing things down or using other ways to express yourself.
You don’t need to mask, perform or communicate in a particular way to be heard and understood here. I want you to feel able to show up as yourself, without the pressure to meet someone else’s expectations of how you should engage.
You also don’t need to arrive knowing exactly what helps you. We can explore that together, and you can let me know at any point if something isn’t working for you. Adjustments aren’t something you need to earn or justify; they’re part of finding a way of working that feels right for you.
For those wanting to explore their Neurodivergence and Late Diagnosis
We live in a society where many expectations are built around neurotypical ways of thinking, communicating, processing information and navigating everyday life. These expectations can influence how we are expected to behave at school, at work, in relationships and in social situations.
If your brain works differently, you may have spent years trying to adapt to these expectations. Perhaps you’ve learnt to mask aspects of yourself, carefully observe other people to work out how you’re supposed to behave, or push through situations that leave you overwhelmed or exhausted.
In counselling, we might explore:
- Identity and self-understanding: Making sense of who you are and how you experience the world.
- Masking and authenticity: Understanding how adapting or hiding aspects of yourself to meet social expectations can affect your wellbeing, and identifying ways to feel more comfortable being yourself while reducing the pressure to fit in.
- Burnout and overwhelm: Understanding how prolonged stress, sensory demands, and emotional or cognitive overload can affect your energy and wellbeing, and identifying ways to recognise your limits, recover, and create a more sustainable balance in everyday life
- Sensory sensitivity: Understanding how sensory experiences such as noise, light, touch, smells, or busy environments can affect your comfort and wellbeing, and identifying ways to reduce sensory overload and create environments that better support your needs.
- Demand Avoidance/ Persistent Drive for Autonomy: (PDA) Understanding how everyday demands and expectations can trigger anxiety and a need for control, and identifying ways to reduce pressure and support autonomy, flexibility, and emotional wellbeing.
- Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria: (RSD) Understanding how perceived rejection, criticism, or disapproval can trigger intense emotional responses, and identifying ways to build self-compassion, emotional regulation, and more supportive relationships.
- Relationships and communication: Understanding how you process, express, and interpret communication, and identifying ways to navigate misunderstandings, express your needs, and build more comfortable and mutually supportive connections.
- Late diagnosis and life transitions: Reflecting on how receiving a diagnosis later in life can reshape your understanding of past experiences, and exploring ways to process emotions, reframe your identity, and move forward with greater self-understanding and self-acceptance.
For some people, discovering they are neurodivergent later in life can bring a profound sense of recognition. Experiences that once seemed confusing or disconnected may begin to make more sense when viewed through a different lens. Alongside this, there may be grief for the support you didn’t receive, anger about being misunderstood, sadness about the effort it took to fit in, or uncertainty about what this new understanding means for your identity and future.
If you’re questioning whether you might be neurodivergent, you may find yourself looking back over your life and reconsidering experiences from childhood, education, work, friendships and relationships. You might be trying to distinguish between what feels natural to you and what you’ve learnt to do to meet other people’s expectations.
These questions can bring up complicated feelings, particularly if you’ve spent years believing that you should simply try harder, be more organised, communicate differently or cope better.
If you would like a space to explore these experiences, you’re welcome to contact me to discuss working together.
